Rasher Review: CHICKEN BACON DIJON HOT POCKETS

The product
Hot Pockets have a weird power over many staffers at BaconDuJour. They're not very flavorful, or nutritious, or satisfying, but they keep showing up in the lab freezer. Maybe we're lured in by the convenience (3 minutes in the microwave and boom! nuclear-hot sammich), the price (about a buck per pocket makes for a cheap lunch), but really, we think it's the space-age novelty of the crisper sleeves that turn us on.

Pocket appeal recently increased tenfold when we saw a new bacony flavor in the freezer case: Chicken Bacon Dijon. Look at that picture--sizeable hunks of bacon poking out from the nuggets of chicken, cheesy-dijony sauce, and deletably seasoned crust, who could resist? We ignored the lie put forth by the "Lean Pockets" label (8 g of fat? In one dinky sammich? Uh, no) and purchased enough of these Pockets to go around the lab. Eagerly we sleeved the Pockets, nuked the sumbitches and after letting the sandwiches rest so the filling could cool down from the molten-lava stage, and cut into them.

The results

We sliced the first test sandwich in half and took this picture. Do you see any bacon? We didn't see any bacon--not without poking around in the goo, anyway, and even then it was just a few sad little flecks of the stuff. Nice false advertising, Hot Pockets Corporation. Then, biting in didn't provide much relief--we detected a hint of bacon flavor, but that was it. Wah-wah.

The verdict: 
Move along. No bacon to see here.

Breakin' Bacon: BACON-CRAZY DINNER IN CHICAGO

If you missed Baconfest Chicago in April, you were deprived of a day-long celebration of salted-pork bacchanalia. Bacon-centric chefs from all over offered up mind-blowing appetizers, entrees, salads, desserts and even drinks loaded up with bacon. The hundreds of people that had flocked to the Stan Mansion in Chi's Logan Square hood woke up the next morning with bacon hangovers (although that didn't stop some BDJ staff from brunching the next door and ordering more bacon). As soon as the hickory and applewood smoke cleared, BFC organizers were thinking about their next big move.

"We'd been talking since April about smaller events to help feature chefs and restaurants that were doing interesting stuff with bacon," says Seth Zurer, one of the masterminds behind BFC. "It took a little time to get the ball rolling, but about a month ago we started chatting with out chefs to see who might want to host."

While Chicago is loaded with chefs that make good use of bacon, Gil Langlois at the world-class Chalkboard eatery is one of the few that really, truly, gets bacon, so his joint was a natural choice for the first BFC dinner. On Sept. 13 and 14, he'll be offering up a special bacon-crazy menu featuring Nueske's bacon, cocktails with Templeton Rye hootch, and other treats to folks gathered to celebrate the glory that is the planet's best food.

"Gil is doing a lot of wild flavor combos that will really push the edges of what we think of as natural accompaniments to bacon," says Zurer, adding that diners can expect wonders like bacon bread pudding and pickled bacon lollipops.

We can't wait. While tickets are sold out to the 9/13 dinner (at which BDJ Labs staff will be in attendance), there's still a little bit of room at the second on 9/14. Click here to grab yours.

Test: #301: Bacon and SWISS ROLLS

The subject

The best things in life aren't always free. Sometimes, they're just really, really cheap.

Take Little Debbie's super-addictive, crackalicious snack cakes. Here it is 2010, and you can still purchase an ENTIRE box (between six to 12 items, usually) of the Tiny Temptress of Taste Treats' morsels for less than two bucks. Great news if you're a budget-minded mom packing desserts into your offspring's lunch boxes, or a hippie who's spent all his food money for the week on a Phish ticket but still desperately requires a palliative for his raging munchies.

Happily, this low price point also is perfect for your loyal BDJ Lab Techs, because after purchasing a box of Diminutive Deborah's Swiss rolls for today's mad bacon experiment, we still had plenty of dough left over to procure--what else?--more bacon (priorities, people). We wrapped some of that precious bacon around some Swiss rolls and baked those fatty mofos right up. Here's how it went...

The result

Not much to look at--the finished result closely resembles a bacon-ensconced Schnauzer turd--but man oh man, are looks in this case deceiving. While Swiss rolls were never our favorite LD delicacy (BDJ staffers are split between the fudge brownies and the nutty bars), we fell ass-over-teakettle in love with the bacon-wrapped roll. The dry cake and waxy coating morphed into a velvety chocogasm of sweet, gooey bacony heaven. Were the transmographied snack cakes not so insanely rich and weighty--and were we not relatively short on test bacon for the week--we might have wrapped up the entire box o' rolls and gone batshit bacon crazy. This is definitely a bacon trick worth pulling out for your next bacon-themed get-together.

The conclusion: Bacon + Little Debbie's Swiss roll = snackeriffic!

The time is nigh...

...but not quite here. While you're counting down the minutes until BaconDuJour officially relaunches, you can enjoy this classic BDJ gem from RatherGood.com: HOVER BACON!

O Happy Day

Tomorrow is September 1. Normally that wouldn't be such an exciting day, unless you get your ya-yas out by flipping the calendar page (if you do, god bless you for being so easily entertained).

This September 1, though, is especially momentous, for it is the day upon which BaconDuJour makes its triumphant return! We'll be relaunching BDJ with more of our infamous mad bacon experiments, more interviews with salted-pork enthusiasts, more tantalizing recipes, art, jokes, anecdotes, breaking news--each item chock full of salty, savory, smoky BACON.

We'd also like more of you in BDJ. We don't plan on wrapping you in bacon (unless you maybe ask real nice), but the lab techs at BDJ would like to hear from you if you have:

• ideas for crazy bacon experiments
• amazing bacony recipes
• photos of your own bacon creations
• pictorial record of making your own bacon
• fantastic bacon dishes you've eaten at a restaurant
• any other bacony thoughts

 Drop us a line at BDJlabs@gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, baconeers.

Flying at you: BDJ RETURNS IN SEPTEMBER!

It's a tragic fact of adulthood, but sometimes you have to set aside the things you love to do to make way for obligations. In the case of BDJ, the lab techs had to take care of business literally. We loved writing about and eating tasty salted pork strips every day, but two things stood in the way:
1. Bacon costs money, and those government subsidies that would cover our bacon never did come through.
2. While eating bacon is its own reward, it's not financially rewarding--and bills don't pay themselves.

So, with sad faces and greasy fingers, the BDJ Labs team moved into hiatus, which let us attend to paying work, family obligations, travel, and other duties. Funny thing, though: While the savory scent of bacon faded from our lives, it never left our minds or hearts. Even funnier, our fans really missed it. Every day since we set aside the pork bellies, we've heard from friends and fellow aficionados, "Hey, when are you bringing back that goofy bacon blog?"

That's why Sept. 1, you'll be seeing BDJ make a comeback, bigger and better than before. Lots of bacon tasting, recipes, news, interviews with bacon-minded folk, etc. We're already hard at work coming up with great new stuff to share with you, our fellow carnivores. If we have to, we'll work a little late or early on all the other responsibilities in our lives, but we've come to realize that bacon is just one more thing we can't do without. We love it, and we're glad you do, too.

See you in September.

The Mother of All Cupcake Books. Buy it. Now.

BDJ rarely posts about the same thing two times in a row, but this here cupcake tome is worth repeating ourselves for. You'll remember we posted a pic and a blurb about Who You Callin Cupcake?, the just-published collection of recipes by Michelle and Vinny Garcia, the folks at Chicago's Bleeding Heart Bakery. Now, we've had a chance to peruse the publication and share our thoughts. Our one-word review would probably be "fabulous" or something similarly glowing, because this cookbook kicks holy ass, but you probably need a few more words to convince yourself. Here's a few:

First of all, don't be surprised by this book's compact size. There are a whopping 75 recipes in this baby, each more tantalizing than the next. You could make a recipe every weekend, and then one on every major holiday, and still not make it through the damned thing.

Second, if you've stopped in and sampled the wares at Bleeding Heart, you're probably a fan and might even have a special favorite among the 'cakes (ours, naturally, is the choc/PB/bacon number). If that's the case, you'll be thrilled to learn that all the BHB masterpieces--from the ones on the menu every day, to the specialty flavors the bakery rotates--are listed in here. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

Third: Praises be, the recipes are simple, straightforward, and easy to follow, so even a novice in the kitchen has a chance at creating masterpieces of his/her own. Further helping the newbies, the authors offer tips and tricks to help you avoid kitchen mishaps (i.e. avoid overmixing the vegan cupcake batter). Head BDJ Lab Tech Jenni S appreciates this because she completely sucks at making cakes and can use all the expert advice she can get her hands on.

Fourth: Vegan cupcakes! Just because your diet is cruelty-free doesn't mean it has to be flavor-free, too--and these recipes prove it. Also helpful to have if you have vegan buddies (and who doesn't these days), so they don't get left out of any cakey occasions (birthdays, weddings, bat mitzvahs, divorces, haircuts--cake's awesome for any occasion, really).

Fifth: Even if you're a total klutz in the kitchen, never bake a thing, and basically just use your home oven to store the pans that you also never use, you'd be wise to buy this book just for the photography. Bill Lambert's a seasoned food photog, and his shots definitely do the cupcakes justice--you'll want to lick the pages (don't--they just taste like paper). Incidentally, Mr. Lambert also shoots for ThisIsWhyYourFat.com, one of our favorite food sites, so the dude knows how to photograph the food porn.

I'm going to stop writing so you can stop reading and get yourself a copy right now. If it's before 7pm and not Monday, you can go to the bakery at the corner of Damen and Belmont and get a copy. Or, Amazon. Or, fine booksellers everywhere. You can't have this copy, though. Sorry.