Turns out the big-ass bag of frozen fruit we purchased contains diamond-hard nuggets of pineapple, berries, melon and the like, which our non-industrial blender can't handle. Balls. So, we're stuck with a bag of fruit that we can't eat--unless we thaw them, which just leads to a pile of flavorless mush. Not wanting to chalk it up as a total loss, we figured we'd wrap a few chunks in bacon and see if that led to anything positive.
Nope. Each nugget of fruit just totally gave up on life--took on a wee bit of bacon flavor, but the consistency was all blegh. The pieces got all watery and, depending on the size, some even were still borderline cold in the middle. Not a pleasant eating experience at all.
The conclusion: Bacon + frozen fruit = super meh.