Test #103: Bacon and FISH STICK

The subject
Fish sticks are what serves as seafood when you grow up in Middle America. There's far more breading than actual swimmy creature in fish sticks, but if the fish-to-stick ratio were more balanced, kids probably wouldn't eat the damned things. The ex-Catholic staffers at BDJ Labs enjoy fond, youthful memories of Lenten dinners that consisted of canned peas piled next to a row of these dessicated minced-fish logs (always baked, never fried)--and how Mom would impart us with the sacred duty of making tartar sauce out of the little envelope of pickle relish tucked inside each box.

While we've long ago given up on giving up things for Lent, we haven't given up our love for fish sticks, those delicious, non-nutritious tartar sauce delivery systems. We honored one of these childhood staples by elevating it from a simple stick to a bacon-wrapped scepter--a single Gorton's Crunchy Golden Fish Stick enveloped in two of Oscar Mayer's finest pork strips.

The results
The test subject experienced significant shrinkage in length, but seemed to expand in girth--after baking, the bacon-covered stick resembled a fat joint*. Happily, it tasted much better than it looked--we couldn't taste much fish (although that's not much of a change from the fish stick's sans-bacon flavor), but the chewy meat and the fat-soaked breading seemed to amplify the bacon flavor while adding texture. The mouthfeel definitely got a thumbs up from our staff--and we couldn't help thinking that the pre-Easter dinners of our youth would have been even more enjoyable had we been given dispensation for bacon-wrapping our fish sticks in bacon every Friday.

The conclusion: Bacon + fish stick = fairly awesome

Wednesday: Bacon and string cheese
Thursday: Bacon and Pop-Tart

* The management at BDJ Labs does not condone, endorse, or encourage smoking marijuana cigarettes. The practice is idiotic, deplorable, and incredibly wasteful. We use bongs instead.