Saturday, April 25, 2009

Test #144: Bacon and HOT POCKET

The subject

The career of comedian Jim Gaffigan owes much to two things: the unbearable whiteness of his being (he and fellow pigment-deprived funnyman Conan O'Brien poke fun of their negative tans in the Web series "Pale Force"), and Hot Pockets. Hard to argue with anything Gaffigan spouts in the above video clip about the convenient yet largely bland snack--they're not exactly at the apex of American cuisine, but they sure are convenient. And hot.
For today's test, we tossed aside the clever little crisping sleeve and instead cooked a chicken/broccoli/cheddar "Lean Pocket" (who do they think they're fooling? Hot Pockets as health food? PUH-LEEZE) in the BDJ Labs test kitchen, wrapped in three strips of Gusto's finest bacon.

The result
Well, shucky-darn if this wasn't just about the tastiest convenience food we ever did sink our teeth into. If EVERY Hot Pocket came wrapped in tasty, crispy bacon, we'd buy them all the time, and not just when we're broke and/or hung over. The first unit in the two-Pocket box, which one BDJ staffer ate sans bacon when suffering from desperate hunger pangs, was soggy and boring and bleh. Especially yawn-worthy was the crust, which wasn't a crust so much as a blob of flavorless goo around a similarly boring filling. The bacon-wrapped HP, however, came alive in our happy mouths--the bacon put a spark of life into the crust and complemented the ho-hum filling. This was a wonderful way to recover from the previous beef ravioli test; it totally restored our faith of bacon's power to revive crapalicious food and elevate it to a level of greatness.

The conclusion: Bacon + Hot Pocket = smokin'!

Sunday: This week's Bacon Bit
Monday: Bacon + corn dog

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